WiGWag: Battery with bacon, marijuana for relief, gorilla takes the cake and more

Lisa Neff and Louis Weisberg, Staff writers

Where’s the respect?

A Sheboygan man is facing battery and disorderly conduct charges after allegedly throwing a package of bacon at his mother. The mother of Thomas Winkel, 44, said he grabbed her wrist and smacked her with the bacon, cutting her face in the process. Winkel, who appeared intoxicated according to police, said mom was getting on his nerves. 

Mary Jane for ‘George’?

The mainstreaming of marijuana continues with this medical breakthrough. Foria Relief apparently is the world’s first cannabis-infused vaginal suppository created to soothe monthly menstrual discomfort. The suppositories are made of organic cocoa butter blended with cannabis oil to deliver 60 milligrams of THC and 10 milligrams of CBD. The herbal remedy is non-psychoactive. No PMS jokes, please.

Duty calls

About 350 people responded to a jury summons in Pascagoula, Mississippi, by dialing in as instructed. However, the summons contained the telephone number for a sex hotline instead of the circuit clerk’s office. Callers were prompted to select “1” or “2,” depending on whether they wanted to speak with a man or a woman. The clerk’s office said most people probably realized that the number was given in error and hung up.

No diapers needed

Mix one part superstition, two parts fashion, a dab of celebrity idolatry and a heap of media frenzy and what do you get? “Child angel” dolls, the latest craze in Thailand. The dolls occupy a niche somewhere between Buddhist amulets and Furby toys. Their adult owners say the dolls bring good luck, especially if you treat them like your own living progeny by taking them on trips, treating them to meals and praying together at the temple.

In-flight fight

Delta Airlines sent an apology to passengers who were aboard flight 2598 from Los Angeles to Minneapolis on Jan. 22. The Aviation Herald reported that the flight made an unscheduled landing in Salt Lake City due to a fistfight between two flight attendants. The stop caused an hour-long flight delay, prompting Delta to offer travel vouchers to the frustrated — but probably entertained — passengers.

Gorilla takes the cake

The Philadelphia Zoo threw a birthday party for its beloved gorilla Motuba. The festivities included songs, presents and a cake made of Motuba’s favorite foods. But one of the great ape’s housemates snatched the cake and took it up to a perch, where she downed the concoction herself. The cake consisted of specially formulated chow — yogurt, raisins, vegetables and fruit.

Argument stripped

A federal judge has stripped a “GoTopless Day” activist of her core argument against a Chicago ordinance barring women from baring their chests in public. Sonoko Tagami sued after police ticketed her in 2014 during an annual protest of such bans nationwide. The protester said Chicago’s ban infringes on her free speech and other rights. But the judge said precedent requires that, to qualify as protected speech, passersby must be able to get the message that the nudity is conveying.

Not for the pee shy

How do municipalities deal with public urination? In San Francisco, where this apparently happens on a massive scale, the logical approach was to build a public urinal. The city’s first open-air urinal is open for business in Dolores Park. As WiG went to press, there was just one Yelp review of the pissoir. Alan Y. from Oakland said, “Now, instead of getting caught by Stanley Roberts behaving badly, you can just whip it out in the open and use the Outdoor Urinal at Dolores Park. There’s nothing quite like peeing al fresco. Make sure your shoelaces are tied before you venture in there.”

Thieving cheeseheads

Heisters usually go after cash, jewelry, famous works of art, vehicles and expensive electronics. But in Wisconsin, cheese is such a valuable commodity that it, too, attracts the interest of thieves. In late January, burglars stole $160,000 worth of Parmesan, cheddar and other cheeses in two separate incidents in the state. That value is not nearly as much as a painting by Van Gogh fetches, but it’s not too shabby — more than enough to qualify as grand larceny. Although the cheese has been recovered, the culprits remain at large. 

Say what?

A gun rights bill introduced in Washington state by a Republican state representative includes quotes falsely attributed to America’s Founding Fathers. The four-page bill devotes a page to quotes about gun ownership purportedly from the men who created the U.S. Constitution. But at least three of the quotes used in the bill and attributed to Thomas Jefferson, George Washington and Alexander Hamilton were not said or written by them. A staffer speaking on Rep. Matt Shea’s behalf said he is “happy to amend the legislation, if necessary, to ensure it includes only accurate information.” 

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